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What 20 Film Festival Rejections Taught Me About Resilience

This article is more than 6 years old.

I thought I was comfortable with rejection; that is, until I made a documentary film.

I am a 43-year old accounting professor turned filmmaker and entrepreneur and I thought I knew everything there is to know about rejection. It’s not that I’ve always gotten everything I’ve wanted. I’ve been rejected by journal editors, fellowship selection committees and hiring managers before. But for the things I’ve really, really worked hard for (like passing the CPA exam or earning my Ph.D. to name a few), once I put in the work, results came. With filmmaking, it’s been rather different.

Before, I used to believe that resilience is something that I could teach my kids (and my students).  I now know—thanks to 20 rejections of my film later—that resilience is something that must be experienced firsthand.

Lest you think me a whiner, let me explain why for me, documentary rejection felt different than the other types of rejections. It’s excruciating. Like a root canal. To begin with, the time between submitting your film to a festival and receiving a rejection can feel like an eternity. It’s not that I’m unaccustomed to waiting on feedback because the academic publishing process is similar. You submit an article and you wait and wait for feedback that can take several years. But what’s different about the filmmaking rejection process is the amount of financial and emotional resources that go into a project before receiving that rejection. You pour your heart—and wallet—into the film and then…silence. The silence can be deafening.

But despite receiving multiple rejections (have I mentioned, 20?), this process has taught me several valuable life lessons about resilience. And to celebrate the eve of the premiere of my first feature documentary ALL THE QUEEN’S HORSES, I share those lessons here:

  1. You actually do have to accept “no” for an answer

I was so excited to submit my film to my first festival and begin the waiting process. I figured the process would be similar to what I experienced in academic publishing, where a rejection (or a “revise and resubmit,” as we like to call them) comes with an explanation as to why your piece is not the right fit, and the reviewer typically provides detailed notes on how to improve your paper for a future publication. Surely that first festival programmer who rejected me would offer some explanation as to why  my film was rejected, right? It’s common courtesy, the professional thing to do. Think again!

That first rejection (and many thereafter) was curt and complete: “No.” The email thanked me for submitting, explained that they received thousands of entries and the selection process was competitive and encouraged me to apply again. How could apply again if I didn’t understand why it was rejected the first time? As a university professor, I could never deduct points from a student’s paper without providing some type of explanation as to what was wrong. Educators instruct. Film festival curators…curate.  ‘No’ comes without further explanation. Now, many of us believe that we can convince someone to turn a no into a yes, but not in festival submissions (trust me; I’ve tried). According to Dr. George Simon, aggressive personalities hate taking “no” for an answer, and when they encounter a roadblock, they often want to tear it down or get around it. Not that I have an aggressive personality, but after five years of working on this project, I was not ready to accept an electronic no. I had to learn to read the email, archive it and keep it moving.

  1. Networking is key

I am not a filmmaker by training. I knew I had much to learn. Preston Pugh, former Board Member of Kartemquin Films told me about the Diverse Voices in Docs fellowship program organized by Kartemquin Films and Community Film Workshop of Chicago. I applied, got accepted and developed ALL THE QUEEN’S HORSES during the 6-month residency program as a Diverse Voices in Docs fellow. I took the skills acquired in my doctoral program at Virginia Tech and applied them to film. Numbers tell stories and a camera would help me bring those numbers to life. Marrying accounting fraud with filmmaking, I created a true crime doc. I mean, who doesn’t love a good crime documentary, right?

Networking allowed me to first learn about the fellowship opportunity and then raise money for the film. Five years ago, I was reluctant to ask for donations, but now that the ALL THE QUEEN’S HORSES team is raising money for an engagement campaign, I am pounding the streets for donations. To donate, click here! See what I just did there?

  1. Utilize your core market

ALL THE QUEEN’S HORSES is about the largest municipal fraud in U.S. history that happened to take place in the small midwestern town of Dixon, IL. It’s a Chicagoland story, and it’s an Anytown story. Given that my research and teaching are in fraud and white-collar crime, you would think that my core market would be forensic accountants, auditors and investigators—and Chicagoans—and they are. But the national equestrian community has been a faithful supporter throughout my film festival rejection process, and they are core, too.

It always seemed like the day I got a rejection email, there was some positive press from GoHorseShow.com or the Equine Chronicle reminding me how fascinating the Rita Crundwell crime story truly was. One group’s “no” was clearly another group’s “yes” and it was the equestrian community that allowed my resilience to deepen. By the 10th rejection email, I was ready for a new approach. I wasn’t going to quit. This story needed to be told. I pushed through and reminded myself that I had support. Rejection be damned.

 

4.“No” is a complete sentence but it never ends there

I have heard “no” more times during this five-year filmmaking project than I have ever heard in my life. And by the 15th “no” from film festivals, I started to feel defeated. The challenge of being a first-time filmmaker with no industry experience made getting accepted to a film festival challenging. By the time I reached the 20th rejection, I was numb to the word.

But then, I received my first film acceptance! It was to the EQUUS Film Festival (which is why it is important to understand your core market; see above). I was beyond excited. I felt validated—and still the rejections kept coming in. At this point, rejections were not only coming from festivals, but also from reporters not interested in writing about the story or the trailer, filmmaking labs not interested in selecting me for their development programs, funders not willing to donate to the project and networks not interested in airing it. I was swimming in a sea of rejection! But you know what I did? I made my own splash.

Although 20 film festival programmers rejected the film, the ALL THE QUEEN’S HORSES team decided to take a grassroots approach and release the trailer on social media. In three full days on Facebook alone, the trailer received over 100,000 views. Take that, film festival rejectors.

There were so many times during this process I wanted to quit. It’s been an exciting roller coaster ride with an amazing team and we’ve finally pulled into the station. Tomorrow is the world premiere of ALL THE QUEEN’S HORSES at the Martha’s Vineyard African American Film Festival and I must say I never thought this day would come.

My dissertation (which was on ethical decision-making of future accountants) took me 1 year, tons of blood, sweat and tears but I got it done. ALL THE QUEEN’S HORSES felt like working on five dissertations—all at once. While getting a root canal.

But I wouldn’t change a thing about this experience. I now have the opportunity to tell this incredible story on a national platform and I am so ready. Hopefully, I’ll have the chance to bring the film to as many people as want to see it. (Did I mention, over 100k views?!)

To those first 20 film festival curators who said no, as the oh-so fabulous Bozoma Saint John, newly appointed Chief Brand Officer at Uber, might say,#WatchMeWork!